The 3 Biggest Lies About Romance
WELCOME!! Today we take a look at the three biggest lies that I hear circulating about romance.
1. All guys/girls cheat
Unfortunately, many of us hold a fear that we will be cheated on if we open our hearts and devote ourselves to another person. Most of us have this fear for some very good reasons. Even if you haven’t been cheated on by someone with whom you had a mutual devotion to, you surely know someone who has been.
Betrayal of a lover can take on many different forms, however, at the root of each instance lives both unconsciousness and a lack of respect for the relationship and oneself. Contrary to popular belief, there are many among us who hold honesty and integrity in very high regard.
Over the years, I have had the privilege of working with many women and men who are devoted to a path of awakening consciously. As one grows in consciousness, they see their partner as a being, like themselves- just in another body and with a different personality and story.
They actively engage in transparent communication with their partners and see their relationship as a space to evolve into the highest expression of themselves. Additionally, they embrace the viewpoint that an involvement in a romantic relationship requires supporting their partner in that same process.
You may be asking yourself: Where are these people? Where can I find someone like that? The answer is simple: become the highest expression of yourself that you can right now - in the present. The more conscious you become, the more likely you will be to draw someone to you who shares your vision.
You must begin with YOURSELF. Learn how to clean up your own counterproductive, unconscious patterns and begin to love yourself fully. Only then can find a space of peace and love without needing anyone but yourself.
2. Romance is Just a Phase
One thing that gets me worked up is hearing “leading experts” in the field of spirituality or love backing this statement: Romance is just a phase. In all actuality, it’s simply not true. Whatever image that you hold in your mind of what romance is, the bottom line is that feeling of romance that is stirred within us is the result of both our love and our sexual energies mixing. The more uninhibited those energies are, the deeper the feeling of romance will be.
I’m not speaking of anything mystical. We all know what it’s like to have sexual desire. We also know what it’s like to experience the feeling of love. When these two energies mix, we find ourselves in a state of romance. Now, if you have an image in your mind of a candlelight dinner on a white sand beach in the tropics – well, that is just a Hollywood image used to represent romance.
Romance can be defined as how open your heart and your sexual energies are to your partner. It is experienced in the way that you talk to, touch, and even look at your partner.
Romance usually fades in traditional relationships because there is not enough connection. Not enough compatibility for the couple to be sustainable romantic partners. If there is not a partnership, a desire to support the other, a dedication to awakening, or a fascination with how the other person processes life - romance will be a short phase of the relationship. If, however, both are committed to having a conscious romantic relationship where the previously mentioned attributes are met, romance will continue to grow, expand, and become more profound as the years progress.
Some relationships are meant to pull us in and teach us something. Sadly, the romance fades because that relationship played its role, and it's now time to move on.
Keeping our heart and sexual energy fully open in a relationship takes work, but it does not have to be just a phase. So you have a few choices. You can be complacent and accept the norm, or you can start on this journey of making your relationship reach it's full potential. It's important to note that my parents are coming up on their 50th wedding anniversary and they still have romance. That’s right, 50 YEARS! What's also very important to point out is that they didn’t get that way by not putting in any effort.
3. Someone Will Complete Me
And last, but not least, the belief that “someone will complete me” is probably the biggest lie floating within the subconscious mind of humanity. No one will complete you! Deep down you are already whole and complete. I reference the popular quote from Rumi that says “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
Do the work! Awaken to a level of awareness within you that is beyond all of your insecurities and trauma. Do the work you need to do in order to heal and find wholeness within yourself. Otherwise, you will be continuously falling into the trap of trying to find someone else to complete you.
This is a heavily projected belief repeated in story-line after story-line in books, the big screen, and even music. Although sharing life’s experiences with someone can feel incredibly satisfying, nothing external to you will ever complete you. Awaken to that reality!
I would like to mention that many people feel that there was only one love of their life - one “soul mate” - and they lost that person and need that specific person to complete them. It has been my experience that the more conscious and whole we become - coupled with a belief that we can find another love or that we are open to experiencing another love - then the more likely it is that we can find that deep, profound “soul mate” love with more than one person
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