Are You a Serial Monogamist?
We live in a culture that heavily subscribes to serial monogamy. But, you might ask, what exactly is this serial monogamy?
Are you the type of person that prefers to be in a romantic relationship where the two of you reserve sex solely for one another? Do you tend to fall in love, commit to a relationship with someone, but for some reason it doesn’t work out and then you find another love to commit to?
Then you, my friend, are a Serial Monogamist.....
Before you break out the blanket of shame and wrap yourself up all nice and miserably for thinking that something’s wrong with you, take a sip of whatever’s in front of you and finish reading this article! You’ll be pleasantly surprised.
The majority of our population are serial monogamists. We tend to desire focused attention and an intimacy that can typically only be reached through commitment and a degree of exclusivity. Notice that I said typically, there are exceptions.
Although many people say that monogamy isn’t natural, I challenge them to define natural. There is a plethora of types of romantic love, and I am a proponent of them all because they all serve our deeper connection and conscious evolution. I am a proponent of all models as long as the people are using them to be authentic with others and to nurture love.
Many of us are drawn to monogamy because subconsciously we desire deep connection. We desire to understand someone fully, and for them to understand us. Opening up and becoming vulnerable usually requires trust and time. It takes substantial time and dedication for most people to do this with even just one person. Therefore, monogamy is the obvious choice for most.
Exploring the many angles of life and sharing intimate aspects of ourselves with another person helps to open us to the space of love which we all so deeply desire. All of these things play into a bond, a connection that makes us feel safe and allows us to more easily tap into the state of love.
One thing to explore is the idea that committed romantic relationships offer us one of the most rapid spaces for self-growth. When we stop getting sucked into love relationships out of physical attraction alone, and we begin to wake up from our subconscious drivers (models) such as “my father was abusive to my mom and so I need to be abused or be an abuser to feel love,” our relationships and lives change.
Although many of us would like to quickly find that one person to spend the rest of our lives with, (wouldn’t that be so much easier?!) more than likely we will be drawn to many different romantic relationships which all have gifts and lessons for us to appreciate and incorporate into our lives. They are all opportunities for growth and beauty, although some only display beauty in hindsight. Some of you know what I’m talking about.
Conscious romantic relationships awaken us to the idea that we can be okay with being fully in love and giving ourselves to a relationship, knowing that the path of openness and love is the higher choice. As long as there’s honesty, explore love with your partner. If there’s no honesty, explore loving them from a distance.
Maybe we won’t be spending the rest of our lives with them. Maybe we made a soul contract to learn somethings from each other and then to move on. Only in time will we know if we were meant to walk a long life path together. Until we do know, let’s love, FULLY.
Many issues tend to arise when our minds begin to produce a storyline of a future that we are going to have with a person who is not compatible with our life path. Learning to love without attachment (not to be confused with commitment) is a huge lesson that, once learned, opens our life to unforeseen beauty.
Whomever you’re currently committed to, love them. Love them fully, as who they are right now.
I advise people to go slow and develop a friendship. Build dimension and trust. Open up and love.
You go get em’ you serial monogamist!
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