3 Ways to Deal With a Broken Heart

3 Ways to Deal With a Broken Heart

First of all, dealing with a broken heart can be one of the most intense and painful experiences that we as humans will experience during our lifetime. With that said, here are three things that can help with the process.


1. Grieve


Understand that grieving is an important process and should be embraced. There's a saying that we can only heal what we're willing to feel. Feeling such pain can literally bring us to our knees in a storm of tears but it must be felt in order for it to move through.


I remember, after a few romantic relationships, finding myself in the fetal position crying uncontrollably, and it seemed like my life was over. One of those times I literally felt so much physical pain in my chest area that in addition to crying out with emotional pain, I was also crying out in physical pain while holding my chest.


The phase of grieving is similar to the ocean. One minute there's a torrential downpour and the next minute the rain stops but the clouds are still there. Then another storm comes and maybe shortly after the clouds break and we begin to feel normal again, our life vessel seems to have found balance, only to get hit with yet another torrential downpour of pain.


Grief tends to come in waves of intensity, and sometimes the storm can seem to last so long that we feel it will never end, but it does.


The important thing to remember is to grieve. Honor this phase of grieve for it will ultimately deepen and enrich your life experience. Feel the pain fully. It's a natural part of the human experience. Towards the end of a grieving period, once you stop pushing away the pain and embrace it, it will teach you valuable lessons and elevate your awareness.


Find an outlet for your grief, whether that's going out into nature and feeling the waves of emotion while meditating, or crying your eyes out to a friend or even a pet, just remember to grieve.


2. Reflect


Reflection is a very valuable phase to be completely honest with ourselves about why the relationship didn’t work.


What did WE do to contribute to the heartbreak? Did we commit to something that deep down we knew wasn’t right for us? What warning signs did we not see that we will be more conscious of in the future? What insecurities or other subconscious trauma were we projecting onto the other person that we need to clean up? What patterns are we seeing in ourselves in regard to relationships that we need to break?


Without this time of self-reflection and self-work, we will continue to repeat the self sabotaging patterns that impede a higher love. An important thing to remember is that although we must take responsibility for our actions and work on ourselves, the process should be gentle. A critical, tough mind promotes a hard heart, not healing.


3. Nurture Hope


It’s pretty common, after a deep love, to feel that we’ll never find love again. Sometimes we feel that we’ll never find a love as profound or pleasurable as what we just experienced. This leads to a feeling of hopelessness, which is like putting salt on a snail, it kills our spirit.


Search out stories of people who found love after love. Talk with people like myself who have found another soul mate, after we thought we lost our one and only soul mate- nurture hope.


After the grief, after the self work, and with a spirit of openness and hope, we can once again find deep love. However, the more self work we do and the more conscious we become, the richer our relationships become.


Remember that each relationship has something uniquely different to offer us. Explore and honor how they show up for you, each one comes to you for a multitude of reasons.


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I hope you found this helpful! Thanks for reading!
-Devon Loomis


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